a new trick...

So everyone over here (and I do mean everyone) can do this bar trick where they pop the bottle cap off of a bottle using another bottle. Ok, so perhaps it's less of a trick and more of a skill. Regardless, everyone can do it and I desperately want to learn.

Last week in Neno (when we were sans power and water) we decided to kick back and relax a little bit. This is rare, especially when I'm on the road, and, in fact, only happened because we literally couldn't do any work!! I was shown how to do said trick and I managed to successfully do it (albeit not gracefully or easily like most people) 3 times. However, when it came time to open a bottle for myself, I couldn't do it for the life of me. I literally tried for 30 minutes straight. My hand was bruised. My fingers hurt. I accidentally opened several other bottles (of soda) while trying to pry my one bottle of stout open. I finally gave up and pried the cap off with a knife (don't worry, it was safe....I promise......well, I think).


Moral of the story? 3 out of 4 is not bad....but it's also not good. Must. Keep. Trying.

Because I'm hungry....

I'm not really that homesick (yet) but it hit me that I'm flying home in a couple weeks and that made me........ hungry. Yes, hungry. Now I really wish I had one of the following for dinner right now.....

Because I miss the city.......
source

Because I miss Boston
source

Because my years in the south taught me that pulled pork is addicting. It is. Mmmmm
source

Because I know I know Slymans is only weeks away...
source

Because honestly, who doesn't love dim sum? (and if the answer is you, I'm sorry, we can't be friends anymore)

source

Christmas in November

Well people, there's a first time for everything. This muzungu got a sun burn....at a Christmas party. Yup, you read that! I knew the party was outside but I accidentally forgot that it is still SUMMER here. I forgot to turn my brain on when I walked out the door and my shoulders are now a nice reddish hue. Lovely. Next year I'll just have to re-wire my brain into associating Christmas with sunscreen.....I'll learn, eventually!

Our company Christmas picnic (that's a term you don't hear in the US....a Christmas picnic?) took place this past weekend. It involved a ton of organized activities - activities which we typically associate with children.....only they were for adults! For instance, I was nominated to participate in the "balance-an-egg-on-a-spoon-and-race-across-the-field" contest. I didn't drop my egg, but I wasn't very fast either. I think perhaps my favorite contest of the day was the hula hooping contest.....when is the last time you have hula hooped?

My second favorite was when Santa made an appearance and a small child ran directly towards him at full speed exclaiming, at the top of her lungs, "FATHA CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!!"

It's Christmas in Malawi! (almost)

Skype makes the world go 'round

Being able to see my family on Thanksgiving was pretty awesome. Having them rub all of the delicious food they were about to devour in my face? Not so awesome...but whatever, my Thanksgiving cheeseburger was pretty darn good :-)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thanksgiving

STOP PROPERTY GRABBING
Every Orphan Has a Right to Inherit Their Parents Property

HIV kills approximately 85,000 Malawians each year.

An estimated 700,000 - 1.2 million orphans have resulted from HIV/AIDS related deaths.

This is staggering. And deeply upsetting.

Today, I was annoyed because I woke up to no electricity and no water for the 2nd day in a row. But you know what? Today, I have many things to be thankful for.........

I bless the rains down in aaaaafrica

It rained today. It rained HARD today. We had a couple torrential downpours this summer in DC but those didn't last nearly as long as this whammy did (that photo was taken 5 minutes after it started.....seriously). So, I guess this means the rainy season is finally upon us!

...which is nice because today I was actually chilly for the first time since I got here (not including the air conditioned pharmacy I visited last week. I was freezing but was too stubborn to admit it since I had been complaining about the heat so much!)

Note to self - pack umbrella, raincoat, and flat shoes with you whenever you leave the house.....

Note to my rain boots (packed safely away at my parents house) - I miss you and I wish you were here.

Tomorrow I'm off on another road trip to Neno (near Mwanza). We have to bring the truck since we're driving up some mountain and the rains will surely get us. Exciting. Perhaps. I'm also told the site where we're going has not had any electricity or cell network for days. SO....I have no clue how I'll stay entertained or get any work done for that matter! This should be interesting....

if my life were a sitcom.....

The other night my roommate (Naim) and I were making dinner in the kitchen and I spazzed because there was a lizard freaking out in our sink. Normally lizards scale walls and stuff so I was surprised to see this guy stuck in the sink. Naim grabbed the top of the trash can (which sort of looks like a plate) to try to scoop him up and free him. Well, attempt after attempt and the lizard wouldn't stay still enough to let us rescue him. And then it happened....upon trying to scoop him up, Naim accidentally SEVERED the tail! Now yes, I know this is a defense mechanism and it is, in fact, natural. But I swear the lizard stopped trying to escape and literally sat there and stared at us like, "YOU JUST CUT OFF MY FREAKING TAIL YOU JERKS!" Meanwhile, his tail was flopping around in the sink like it had a mind of its own. The severed flopping tail really grossed me out. Really, it did. Needless to say, one more flip was all it took and he was free to go run up our walls again....

Now, fast forward to tonight. Something fell out of our trash can and like a bazillion tiny ants came marching in. (Note - ants like cheese). The Doom spray we normally use inside was all gone so we used the more potent stuff that is "not recommended for use indoors". Well, take it from me, they really ought to make that warning LARGER and slightly stronger because we used it to try to kill the ants and the next thing you know, we're both coughing like crazy. Something in the spray was really getting to us...so much that we thought we were going to throw up! We sat here coughing, and laughing, (which made us cough more) and trying not to puke..... I don't know, I guess you had to be here. But the very best part is as we were hacking up a lung, we saw this guy scurry up the wall.....

May I present to you.....

THE TAIL-LESS LIZARD! (he still loves us after all!)

Q & A

Yesterday marked my first full month here in Malawi. I can't tell if it feels like I just got here or if I've been here for ages. I'm not sure what that means....

Anyway, I thought I'd take the opportunity to answer some questions that people have been asking me. Feel free to keep them coming!

What is your apartment like?
Great! I live in a guesthouse in the same compound as our landlady. It is gated and I feel very safe. Our landlady has a much larger house with a pool and a yoga/pilates studio. I have yet to use either but maybe someday I will!

My new home

What is the food like?
Traditional meals include chicken/beef with nsima, rice, or chips (fries). Remember nsima? But otherwise, there's not a ton of selection. There are a couple of chinese/indian (yes, combined) restaurants but not a ton else. They have some pizza places but none that are good enough to write home about. Fast food and delivery are a foreign concept which has been one of the more difficult things to accept :-) There is a Nando's here which is funny because there is one in DC too and I never realized it was a South African chain! I'm not really craving anything yet but I'm sure I will be soon....

Am I getting too spoiled by having a housekeeper?
Yes. and No. This seems to be a HUGE concern among some of you! Don't worry people, I'm not going to get all snobby on you. I really appreciate all that M (my housekeeper) does for me - and to be honest, considering the amount of hours I've been working and traveling? Simple stuff like dishes and laundry wouldn't get done without him! The only suspect thing about M is that he breaks into my roommates car to clean it. And now the central locks are all jacked up....but at least the car is clean!

How hot is it?
Actually I know I have complained about this a lot....but recently it has been more bearable! I think it was in the 90s when I got here (much hotter in some places I traveled to) but now it's probably in the 80s. It was far hotter/more humid in DC (like by a lot!) but there was also this novel thing called an AIR CONDITIONING in DC. Those don't so much exist here...... The rainy season is coming (it rained for the first time yesterday) and with that will come more temperate weather....and a TON OF BUGS!

Will you get to meet Madonna?
Probably not.

Will you get to meet Bill Clinton?
Probably not. (he was here last year)

What does the money look like?
It looks like this:The exchange rate is currently 150 Kwacha to 1 dollar. I'm not going to lie, the exchange rate is a tricky one and my brain is often too tired to do the math.... Plus the largest bill they have is 500 MK ($3.30) .....so you're constantly carrying a wad of cash around with you!!

What is Lilongwe like?
Lilongwe is nice. It's a 'city'....it's a capital city....but it's more like a giant village. It's really spread out and although there are some nice paved roads and some nice new buildings, there are also a lot of dirt roads and shacks. You'll see businessmen walking down the side of the road right next to a woman balancing a basket full of vegetables on her head. The people here are wonderful and, although there's not a ton to do (ok, there's relatively nothing to do....there isn't even a movie theater), it seems like a nice place to live (so far). There are some decent restaurants and some fun bars/clubs so we'll see how long those manage to keep me entertained!

How do you find time to blog?
Well, well, well, this is the million dollar question! Somehow I seem to prioritize this little old blog. I actually think it's therapeutic in a way....and also people get concerned when I don't write (Hi Mom, Hi Grandma!). I have found myself finishing up my work at 12 or 1 and then sitting to write a blog post. It's not necessarily the smartest thing in the world.....but seriously, I've never really claimed to be smart anyway :-)

what are the chances!?!?

no really, will someone who is good at math please figure this out for me?

On the way back from Machinga we stopped randomly on the side of the road and E asked if I wanted to buy some mangoes. Sure, I thought, I mean really, who doesn't want mangoes?!? Plus when you stop at these little stands they are dirt cheap. I literally have several pounds of mangoes now that I purchased for the hefty price of $1.33.

But anyway, the important part of the story.....we walk up and down past all of the different women and E stops at one, checks them out, and tells me they are the best. I pull out my money to pay and I saw the most incredible thing.....

Please look carefully at her shirt.....

Now back to my original question. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!?! Random road stop, random idea to get mangoes, random woman, JMU shirt???? CRAZY! Then everyone else wanted in on the picture as well. They were probably fascinated by the white girl who jumped for joy and started frantically pointing at the lady in the purple t-shirt.......

Anyone care for a mango? (I bought one bucket of the small yellow mangoes and one of the big green ones. All for less than $1.50)

UN-BE-LIEVE-A-BLE

Ok people. don't read this if you are squeamish. Seriously. And if you proceed, don't say I didn't warn you. Alrighty....so I had heard that people sell mice on the side of the road. Usually they are totally charred but people eat them! Today we passed a guy selling some mice so we stopped for a picture. I paid him 50MK ($0.33) for the photo and the next thing I know, he hands over the following.


and this is what I thought about that......

no thank you....

However, my roommate had been talking about wanting to try it...

but he wussed out.

These mice hadn't been cooked yet so they looked particularly disturbing. Either way, mark my words, I will NOT be eating a mouse here in Malawi!

And on a happier note, check out the world's smallest lizard that I saw today....

Zambian Music, aka my new fave

Zambian music, where have you been all of my life!?!

A few weeks ago (probably during my first week) I got into one of the cars and our driver, S, was playing some really catchy, upbeat music. I asked what it was and he replied, “This? This is ZAMBIAN!” So….apparently I like Zambian music….and apparently I’ve made it known so much that this morning I got in the car (in a slight zombie-like form) and our other driver, E, said as happily as could be, “Laureeeeen, I’m ready for you today. I have 3 Zambian tapes!” I was grumpy, I was tired, I was ready to be in a bad mood….but I couldn’t help but smile. And guess what? Today wasn’t half bad!

Then he played another tape and I said, "What is this? I like this too!" and he responded, "This? This is Malawian gospel music!" So... apparently I like Malawian gospel music too......

Who knew a salad could save the day?

Today was a not-so-great-kind-of-day. Ok, today was a bad day. I won't get into it because I think this blog is beginning to take on a sort of negative tone. It's not because life is bad or anything, it's because I'm tired. I'm constantly tired.....and perhaps a little stressed. Oh yeah, and my account got hacked this morning. Anyway, some things that made today better....

1. Salad. They randomly had a salad at one of the grocery stores we go to. I bought it and even though it was as soggy as could be (and I probably would have thrown it away had I bought it in the states), it was THE MOST DELICIOUS SALAD I'VE EVER EATEN....and also the first one I've eaten since I arrived here.
   
2. Banana Bread. I also bought a loaf of fresh banana bread. My roommate seems to think I'm going to be terribly disappointed when i eat it (which I'm going to do in about .5 seconds) but I keep smelling it and it smells.....well, de-licious.
3. Cockroaches (or lack thereof). Realizing that I haven't seen/trapped/shooed out a cockroach in 10 days. TEN DAYS! (i hope i didn't just jinx myself).
   

Ahhh, the power of positivity. Nope, it didn't work. Still a lousy day. Oh well, it was worth a shot. Better luck tomorrow!

Also, I saw this guy yesterday. The photo is blurry because, well, look at that thing! It was like a foot long and it had a BLUE HEAD! It scared me! Come on, people. I'm not THAT brave!

I've been attacked!! (by a hacker)

I woke up this morning to find that my gmail was hacked.....by an IP address in China. Come on, China. What have I ever done to you? Sorry to those of you who received it....which is everyone.

Anyway, we're currently sitting at a small "cafe" at a facility (it's actually a container...like a shipping container...with the sides pulled down. I know, hard to imagine). It's the lunch hour so we're waiting to go collect some additional information. Anyway, I just thought I'd share something funny we saw this morning (which cheered me up after realizing spam had been sent to anyone I'd ever emailed). The following was on the sign outside the Lilongwe Golf Club...

LILONGWE GOLF CLUB

MEMBERS ONLY
daily memberships available

the day technology hated me.

On the way back from Mwanza we took a detour to visit this gorge that was supposedly very beautiful. It was. I took photos. Good ones. It was fun (even though I was wearing business attire which made it very difficult to climb up the rocks!). Unfortunately, my photo card decided it was time to go berserk and when I tried to load the photos onto my computer, it somehow became corrupted so there are no photos to share. I nearly cried. No really, I did. By that point it was nearly 1am and that was sort of the last straw for the day...

You see, our visit in Mwanza was good - not the most successful one we've had, but good. We had some car problems on the way back (the lid popped off of our water tank and we had to ask a local to go fetch some water from the nearby river) and then I had a late conference call that I got kicked off of no less than 10 times (can't wait to see my phone bill for all of these international calls)..... then I was typing up my notes from the trip and my computer froze and I lost the majority of what I had typed. THEN the photo card thing. One thing after another, man....one thing after another. None of them a huge deal individually, but all together it was just really frustrating.

Fortunately that was a few days ago and things have been looking up since then. I actually feel like I'm getting the hang of this job - like perhaps my head is slightly above water right now!

The downside of that is that I've been working so much that I haven't really even settled in to my new surroundings. My roommate said it the best when he said "Wow, you haven't really adjusted at all. You're literally just HERE". It's true. I've been grocery shopping ONCE. I've cooked a meal ONCE. I don't know how to get anywhere and I haven't seen some of the basic things in Lilongwe because I've literally just been working and traveling. I guess it's all about trade offs and right now work is the top priority......

so very tired......

I think.....something's missing?

(for the record, this isn't from Mwanza - it was from another site visit)

It's nearly midnight. I'm sitting in my twin bed (yes, they have twin beds in hotels....and, for the record, only one hotel I've stayed in has had a tv or a phone....so I suppose this is more like a hostel?). I'm sweating. It's hot. There is one single annoying mosquito buzzing around. The mosquito net isn't happening tonight. It's. Just. Too. Hot.

There are dogs barking outside. More like howling. Or perhaps fighting. The howling/barking/fighting has been non-stop since I got back from my conference call an hour ago. Hopefully I'm tired enough to sleep through it. Scratch that. I'm definitely tired enough, I just hope I can sleep through it.

Here goes nothing....

on the road again.....

You know what today was? A good day!

Things are starting to fall into place and I'm beginning to realize that some of the expectations that were set out for me might actually be attainable! Not all....but some! And that's progress!

Tomorrow I'll be back out on the road again...I'm heading back down south to Mwanza. I'm hoping it's not quite as hot as Machinga but, from what I hear, it's pretty hot down there as well. It is, after all, almost the rainy season!

Now THAT is a jumbo shrimp!

So this morning I woke up (to NO bugs, thank you very much) and did a few hours of work before one of our friends came over to exchange movies/tv shows. Everyone here has a hard drive full of stuff to watch (if you can help me stock up at Christmas, let me know - it would be greatly appreciated!!) - and then we headed off to a bbq (or braai). Most of the people I've met here are doing some sort of non-profit work, however, there is a large Portuguese contingent that is here working on a variety of construction projects all over Malawi. This particular braai was in honor of one of our Portuguese friend's birthdays!

The company was great and the food was incredible. Also, they had the biggest prawns I've ever seen in my life. I'm not even kidding - when I first saw them I thought they were lobsters! I'm told they were simply Mozambican Tiger Prawns....like this guy (but cooked, of course)

source

There was eating, drinking, being merry..... and there was also a little singstar action (PS3 karaoke). It was a perfect ending to the weekend.....and yet how is it possible that another week is about to start!?!

A wall full of mirrors

I have plenty of work to be doing right now but OUR INTERNET IS WORKING AT HOME (and quickly, too!) so I'm taking the opportunity to use it!

I worked more or less all day yesterday so by the time last night rolled around, I didn't think I'd be up for a late night. We headed out for Ethiopian food and then went to to meet up with some people at Chameleon (this is where they do Jazz in the Garden on Sundays but last night they had a reggae band). From there people began talking about going to a place I'd never been before....Starlight. The way everyone was talking about it made it sound like it was going to be super sketchy. I was intrigued....

It was sort of a letdown in sketchy factor as it turned out not to be nearly as shady as everyone had built it up to be....I mean, it was still questionable, just not nearly as bad as I was expecting! They played some fun music which made for a good old dance party but the very best part was.....the MIRRORS.

Yes, you read that right....at the front of the dance floor was an entire wall of mirrors. People would literally go dance in front of them and watch themselves in action. You couldn't get in their way either, they meant business! I can't really say that we really wholeheartedly participated in the mirror action, but it was very entertaining to say the least!!

Please excuse me while I go throw up.....

The following is a true story. I repeat, a TRUE story.

Last night we went out for a drink (quite literally, ONE drink.....too much work to do!) and when we got home I went to reheat some pizza. I heard a noise as if something had fallen onto the counter and upon inspection of the entire kitchen i found a humongous spider. I'm talking HUGE. His body was small but his legs were like 10 miles long. My scream alerted my roommate who came in and said, "Wow, that really is a huge spider!" He shooed him out with a broom (go hockey skills) and I went into my room to change. When I turned to close the door, I screamed again because I thought the spider had COME BACK AND FOLLOWED ME INTO MY ROOM. But alas, I was wrong. Instead it was a giant cockroach that had followed me into my room. It hid under my suitcase and when I moved the suitcase, a moth flew out at my face. I thought the cockroach had transformed into a flying insect and screamed again.

We found the cockroach (or so we thought) hiding by my shoes....it looked smaller than we thought but we figured it was him. We trapped him and got him out of the house. What an ordeal! I mean, all of this in a time span of about 3 minutes!!!

Well, fast forward to this morning when I woke up to a freaking gigantic cockroach staring me in the face (I'm pretty sure it was the original one from last night). And worst of all? It was INSIDE my mosquito net (meaning he was literally one misstep from falling onto my bed!) Somehow he had gotten inside the net and crawled half way up it. For a minute I felt trapped inside with that disgusting thing but I managed to get out, grab a Tupperware, and trap it. We evicted him too.

I've caught two cockroaches already today. Two last night too. I think this is getting to be a problem. I mean, sure, it's toughening me up in some respects, but this is downright disgusting. AND it's not even the rainy season yet (I'm told that scorpions and baby scorpions are likely to hide in my shoes). Remind me never to complain about bug problems whenever I move back to the states.......

Is that a lizard in your ear?

Once upon a time I went to Cambodia. 5 of us girls shared a room in Siem Reap and, together, we suffered through thousands of mosquito bites and some pretty terrible side effects from taking Malarone. But perhaps worse than all of that was the “fact” that my dear friend EC shared with all of us. You see, a large lizard jumped off of one of the girls’ beds and ran up the wall. We all shrieked (mostly because we were shocked it had been on the bed in the first place) and then EC announced as plain as day, “Did you know that lizards like to crawl into your ears while you’re asleep….and then die in there?” I think we were all traumatized. No, scratch that, I KNOW we were all traumatized. This might be worse than the thought of swallowing 8 spiders a year in our sleep, or something like that.

Fast forward to present day. I share my house with one other person and many, many lizards. They are tiny and cute. They mostly stay out of my way and I like them because they eat other bugs. I just can’t help but think that one of these days one of them is going to crawl into my ear as I sleep…and die. And that really grosses me out. Thanks a lot, EC.

Sunsets....oh how I love thee

The drive to Chitipa was beautiful. We passed through several districts along the way (Kasungu, Mzimba, Rumphi, and Karonga) and spent a lot of time driving up mountains, down mountains, and past the lake. Between Karonga and Chitipa was purely dirt roads and although the ride was bumpy, the view was gorgeous. Also - there were many sections where people were destroying the trees....I'm not entirely sure why but our driver mentioned it had something to do with the way in which tenants and landlords argue? Anyway, here are some shots from along the way...

The smoke made it difficult to see!

So sad - why all the destruction?

Elephant Rock.....because it looks like a ....yeah, you get the point

This photo would have been great had I not been moving at 130km/hr

Oops. glad that wasn't us

You see scenes like this everywhere - makeshift soccer goals

monkey! ok, ok, i know this is a baboon....but for some reason i kept squealing "MONKEY" when we saw them!

Driving past the lake

Love these trees

Ah, beautiful

After my initial shock at the amenities (or lack thereof) in Chitipa, I came to really enjoy my time there. I adjusted to the nightly blackouts and the daily water shortages pretty quickly and the staff at the hospital were lovely and extremely helpful – I think the hospital’s remote location makes the presence of visitors pretty rare...

This is the main road in Chitipa - the hospital is directly to the right

This is a normal scene in Chitipa

After our first full day at the hospital we decided to go on a little adventure. The Zambian border was only about 8 kms away so we took off on a little off-roading... oh wait, that’s just normal driving in those parts….to find the border. We kept stopping to ask people on the side of the road “Are we in Malawi? Or Zambia?” Eventually we got the answer we were looking for. Shortly thereafter we passed an immigration officer on his bicycle. We figured we’d better turn back before we made it to an official border crossing! The sunset was fantastic and it was just what the doctor ordered before returning to the hotel to try to make sense of all of the data we collected that day...

Heading into Zambia to watch the sunset

One of the plots of land we stopped at to take some photos. the dirt was so rich in color, this photo doesn't do it justice

One of my favorites of the day

From Zambia

Now quick, let's get out before we get caught!

The road leading back to Malawi

am i in malawi or zambia??? who knows!?!